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, OK?

I'm getting depression.
And no I is not stupid. I feel envy simply absurd for all the people are now doing what I want to do, have the consistency that I wish I had ... or, I would like to have everything I have. And no, I am not referring to those who went to Kanazawa, because I know that if they are deserved.

I refer to those fucking spoiled children, those with a tear people get what they want. I do not come to say that those who are using money earned because I swear I spit in his face.

People of the past, people of this and unfortunately, will also meet people in the future as well.
People they do not understand the value of money and maybe does not give due importance. Do not they know that while they cry out to the world their wealth, I do not sleep at night to return some accounts and that I do not work because I can, because I have to work.
know how much I care that you have XXX € in the bank? You know what would make me sick to know that I put aside for a figure like that, I avoid going out for 10 years and not spend any of what I earn?
Do you know what you did wrong when I deemed my meals prepared at home by barbons? Eh? Just because you can afford a coffee and a meal at the bar every fucking day, not to say that I have to redo it.





'm pissed off, fuck.

Game Camera Satelite Viewing

Yey! Sometimes I think too

This morning I had a strange feeling ...
I was too curious to see how this thing worked, sorry XD
Anyway I was clearly asleep, yet despite the heat and discomfort, I loved the feeling of blankets on my legs. It was as if I protect! A wonderful feeling that usually only when I try meditation, which happens on a day of good intentions, or Monday, since they are really just settled and I can not pursue something ...

These days I am studying with flashes, I have a constant headache and it seems that the heat is inhibiting my ability: (Not true, I do not want to be like!

I did not even want to write in English, you think! (
all for today, I hope to fix the bedroom and study something today, doing something really productive:)


tomorrow, or tonight, it depends! :)

Hell's Kitchen Is Staged

Hello everybody.
That Sometimes I know my post can be terrible and soulful somekind of boring But today is an important day.

Today is a terrible anniversary and no , I do not want to talk about it.

I've passed my Entire Existence to moan about my life, my friends, my look and all the things that are around me, just because my expectation of life and living are similar to a telefilm where everything is perfect and none have a problem. 

Jesus. 

Why can't I be realist? Why can't I be happy for the things that I manage to achieve? I can breathe, I can walk, I can see, I can love, I have an house, I can talk to the word, I can express what I need to express...what is the problem? 

What I expect to do? 

EXPECTATION: this is the key word. Everytime I do something I expect that it all will develope in one way, without any exception. 

But sometimes, even your friends will delude you, they will say something that will break your heart in a thousand of pieces, and you will die for the disappointment. 

And you will be the only one to suffer. 

I'm so anxious to live a perfect life that I can't see the good things. I fell so ungrateful to all the people that did so much for me, just to see a smile on my face. 

That's the point. I wanted more, and I didn't realize what really matters, what a person really needs. I don't need to get out every night, to go to the disco or to eat in a resturant every saturday. 
I need to see my grandsons grow, I need to see my boyfriend smile, to laugh with my bestfriend like little kids. 
I need to comfort my friends from pain and grief, I need to feel the others' love.  

I need to feel like a human being, not a number. 
I'm tired to be someone that the others don't really know, she is a stranger even to me. 

I want to live my life. And I will decide how, where and with who.

That's all.